and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
