My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
