Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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