I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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