How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
there is glitter all over my balls
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
