please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
