He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize