I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
