my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize