i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
