I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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