Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
