That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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