YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
