votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
