Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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