Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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