Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
