fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
