If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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