He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
