Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
