dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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