hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
