i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
