i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Let's get the cat blown out
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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