Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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