oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
