She went from zero to smokin in five shots
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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