One girl and one boy is just not enough.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
