DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
