how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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