I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
