Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
