I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
