I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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