no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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