Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
