Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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