I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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