i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
