Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
