Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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