I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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