Have you finally orgasmed yet?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
