David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
