i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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