i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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