My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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