White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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