Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
