this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
