I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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