my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
