Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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