fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
