At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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