Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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