i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Green mimosas i think yes
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
