Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
