Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
try to milk me bitch
My orgasm happened in two different decades
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
