I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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